Am I my name ???


What's a name; a mere utility
But we attach our life to a non existential reality
Who am I ? No one knows
I am not my name, nor its sound
I am not the critiqued, the praise that is showered around
My name does not begin to define what
I make or combine; it doesn't know any better than to seperate mine from thine.
It does not say am a human, nor anything about my soul, doesn't enliven me or deaden me or be my link to the universal whole..
Clings on to my past and my future it can't change or see; my name is nothing but a colossal distance between you and me.

LOVE AS I KNOW IT.

For what is love that hath any boundaries and ceases to be, in adversity, 
Love is that divine bond that strengthens with transcendental eternity.

That which is love, will not know fear, like a flickering and yet adamant flame, it survives every shredding storm.
It rebels in smothers, revels in vanquish and misery and defies every norm.

It is love,when your soul is soaked in  the name of the beloved.
Your mind is entranced and the body responds to the cadence
Of the perennial music that is embedded deep in your heart
The solitude is filled with endearing presence, deep conversations sans language and untold magical secrets; 

Secrets of the heart; which speak through the eyes and don't need to be heard. Secrets that hold the key to unlocking the universe.

Indeed that is love that sows itself to spread around;
Inspires in its exuberance and enlivens one and many
Is also envied, battled, scarred but still lives and breathes and dreams;
If only, for just another moment with the precious.
When that moment becomes life and 
Life collapses into that moment of being
It is Love as I know it.
It is love unbridled, expansive and freeing.

ਇੰਤਜ਼ਾਰ

ਤੇਰੇ ਇਸ਼ਕ਼ ਦਾ ਦਿਲਾਸਾ ਮੇਰੇ ਵੇਹੜੇ, ਵਿਚ ਰੋਸ਼ਨ ਸੀ

ਸੂਰਜ ਦੀ ਤਰਹ, ਮੇਰੇ ਸਾਹਾਂ ਦੀ ਅੱਗ

ਸ੍ਯਾਹ ਰਾਤਾਂ ਵਿਚ ਮੈਨੂ ਲਕੋ ਲੈਂਦੀ ਸੀ,

ਹਿਜਰ ਤੇਰੇ ਵਿਚ ਵੀ ਮਿਠੇ ਜਹੇ ਹੌਲ

ਮੇਰੇ ਨਾਲ ਗੱਲਾਂ ਕਰਦੇ, ਤੇ 

ਕਲ੍ਲੇਯਾਂ ਰਹ ਕੇ ਵੀ ਮੈਨੂ ਤੇਰੇ ਆਉਣ ਦਾ ਸਦਕਾ ਦੇਂਦੇ

ਮੇਰੇ ਸੇਹ੍ਮੇ ਹੋਏ ਕਲੇਜੇ ਨੂ ਠੰਡ ਤੇ 

ਮੇਰੇ ਮਥੇ ਦੀਆ ਲਕੀਰਾਂ ਨੂ ਇਕ ਹਲਕੀ ਜੇਹੀ ਛੋਹ

ਤੇ ਮੇਰੇ ਸਾਰੇ ਦੁਖ, ਅਸ਼ਕਾਂ ਤੋ ਬਿਨਾ ਹੀ ਪਿਗਲ ਪੈਂਦੇ

ਪਰ ਸ਼ਾਯਦ ਤੈਨੂ ਇਹ ਵੀ ਰਾਸ ਨੀ ਆਯਾ

ਇਕ ਚਿਠੀ ਮੇਰੇ ਨਾ, ਇਕ ਦਿਨ ਜਦ ਤੂ ਭੇਜੀ

ਤੈਨੂ ਮੇਰੇ ਦਿਲ ਤੇ ਤਰਸ ਨੀ ਆਯਾ

ਅੱਡ ਰਹ ਕੇ ਵੀ ਜੇ ਮੈਂ ਤੇਰੇ ਇੰਤੇਜ਼ਾਰ ਚ ਖੁਸ਼ ਸਾਂ

ਮੇਰੀ ਆਖਰੀ ਖੁਸ਼ੀ ਵੀ ਤੂ ਮੈਥੋਂ ਖੋ ਲਯੀ

ਅੱਜ ਵੀ ਜਦੋਂ ਡਾਕਿਯਾ ਬੂਹੇ ਅੱਗੋਂ ਲੰਗਦਾ ਹੈ

ਮੇਰੀ ਰੂਹ  ਕਮਬ ਜਾਂਦੀ ਏਹ

ਭੁਲ ਜਾਂਦੀ ਏਹ ਕੀ ਹੁਣ ਇਸ ਬੰਜਰ ਮਕਾਨ ਵਿਚ ਕੋਈ ਨੀ ਵੱਸਦਾ

ਓਹ ਚਿਠੀ ਆਯੀ ਸੀ ਤੇ ਅਗਲੇ ਦਿਨ ਮੇਰੀ ਡੋਲੀ ਉਠ ਗਈ ਸੀ

ਮੇਰੀ ਡੋਲੀ ਇਕ ਸਫੇਦ ਚੱਦਰ ਚ ਲਿਪਟੀ ਹੋਯੀ

ਲੋਕਾਂ ਦਿਯਾ ਅਖਾਂ ਚੋ ਵੱਗਦੀ ਹੁਮ੍ਦੁਰਦੀ ਦੇ ਨਾਲ ਰੁਕ੍ਸਤ ਕਰ ਦਿੱਤੀ ਗਯੀ

ਪਰ ਫੇਰ ਵੀ ਮੇਰੀ ਰੂਹ ਅੱਜ ਵੀ ਡਰਦੀ ਏਹ

ਤੇ ਸ਼ਾਯਦ ਅੱਜ ਵੀ ਭਟਕਦੀ ਕਯੋਂਕਿ ਤੈਨੂ ਹੀ ਯਾਦ ਕਰਦੀ ਏਹ

 - ਅਮ੍ਰਿਤਾ ਸਿੰਘ

WHY

Sometimes the "why" stays as remnant of an ugly charade of life, peeking a look at you, every now and then. The why of the how; moments turned out as they did;

The mystery forever holds in its underbelly;

A secret which is damned either way.

Sometimes it does a flash of reality and dawns;

To make peace with what had passed and to find His will.

But still sometimes the prodding gets better of me

while other times light shines at Thee.

Sometimes I decide to explore the "why"

And at times the potential of the revelation terrifies me.

A flood of bygone misery; it shall be, or a gleaming saving grace.

I wonder, if time will tell, or heal this need to know why

I wonder if I ought to, shouldn't, must or cannot try.

Maybe I will wait to cast in stone what I want..

Maybe I will, Maybe I won't.

Unforgiving pace of  "Time" will shield me from knowing what I dread knowing.

And it will maybe tell me to rejoice in this blind spot

I don't know.

Terribly, Unobtrusively Human

An ocean laid bare, a heart that was devoid of love...a night robbed of its velvety dark and nest tossed away by a fierce wind. My fingers, tracing the contours of your face, in a dim lit moon, they rested on your eyes which were hollow and scant, a nose that did not heave by the touch that was so precious once, sealed lips with a set anguish that was for all to see and for me to feel; a jaw which was so firm in its emptiness of love for me. And I withdrew in haste; my sightless eyes searching your soul but all they managed was a glimpse of the whole; the whole that was but never would be. Searing looks scathing me with pain unknown, ebbing away the last breaths of my life as I choked over the tender touch and the remnants of the glass of fire and of death that you held close to me, stroking my lips with the poison of your love in me.

Heartening to have won a friend back even when I lost another one down the lane.

It is God's way of saying, don't lose heart, my child,  not yet.

Life is too long for us to make choices, nourish angst,  smother love.

You never really know how soon, in what form and how will it all dawn upon you one fine day.

Life is a miracle, God is benevolent for He gives all those second chances to strike gold again

Tempting is to be led astray and magical is to again find your way.

Its life, the less I say, the more it is and the more I do is incomplete.

All i know is it shall come to a halt when it has come round a full circle and you

have given all what you owed, earned what you deserved and found what was yours even while losing what wasn't.

It is life as I know it and it is wonderful indeed.

You said you loved me like no one else did. You did not.
You said it would be age defying friendship between you and I. It was not.
You said that you will always care for me and be my soulmate. You were not.
You said you will protect me from the ravages of  time and the rampages of an evil world. You could not.
You said you wouldn't hurt me like a knife being eternally turned around slowly in a punctured heart. You did.
You said Spring would be eternal in our relationship and autumn would never come. It did.
You said you will carry me in your heart forever. You never did.
All I got in return was lies, deceit, betrayal and a selfish friend that I may have deserved or did not. I will never know.
What I know is that I will never find it in my heart to trust someone again.
I will never forge my way into someone's heart to find a shelter.
I will never ever forgive you, I will never forgive me.